Zombie Apocalypse
The CDC actually made an official announcement stating that there is no zombie apocalypse. Now that's just plain crazy!!!!
The heading “Zombie Apocalypse” is proving handy. Before, these were isolated crime-page incidents that didn’t float to the scummy top of the news. But now we have a whole category for Horrific Inhuman Crimes: File them under zombie. The most startling part of this story is that in a given week, there is apparently no shortage of news about people dismembering one another. In response to the attacks, the Senate has taken action: It has banned bath salts. Even by the time you explained that bath salts are a form of synthetic cocaine that can produce paranoia and hallucinations — or a set of “amphetamine-like chemicals” that give you the strength of 16 men...
So instead of banning bath salts, how about enforcing the existing ban on zombie cannibalism? And if we can't do that, can we at least ban opportunistic, incompetent legislators?
But what has our every-day zombie conspirators in an uproar are the strange events that happened before, and after, this incident. Separately these incidents have no relevant pattern or meaning, but strung together they create the Zombie Apocalypse Theory. This Zombie Apocalypse list of attacks is still growing for 2012...
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