Banana spider to the rescue!
Does the thought of getting bit by a spider give you a massive erection? Probably not, but depending on the spider, the situation may be out of your control. Take the wandering spider, for example. The venom in this wily arachnid causes erections in men. But it doesn’t just cause your average, everyday erection. It causes priapism, that seemingly awesome but actually painful and horrifying condition where erections last four hours or more (as always, consult your doctor if this happens). In light of this, it’s quite fitting that the wandering spider is also called the banana spider. But don’t rush out the door and start antagonizing the first banana spider you see just because you think it will fix your wobbly schlong. For one thing, they’re mainly found on banana plantations and those are hard to come by stateside (although, true to the “wandering” moniker, they’ve been spotted at grocery stores in Oklahoma and Manitoba). Also, the venom doesn’t just cause sustained wood. It can also cause loss of muscle control, severe pain, difficulty breathing and death due to oxygen deprivation.
LINK: http://www.thesmokingjacket.com/humor/banana-spider-venom-information