If Fred's a tree, then I'm a lumberjack
I'm going to chop him down
There's no way in heck he's growing back
I'll dig up all his roots from the ground!
Fred did not specify for us
If he's a pine or maple or eucalyptus
Fred's a tree and I need wood
To keep me warm this winter
So I'll burn him up in my fireplace
I'll burn every single last splinter!